Hey guys…I was reading in “My Utmost For His Highest” a couple of days ago and was struck by the reading, “The Way To Permanent Faith” It’s a pretty meaty reading, but a quick paraphrase is that God allows dark times in our lives through His sovereignty so that we can know His care through the good and bad. Until we go through the dark times, our faith is based on feelings and blessings.
It’s funny, I didn’t so much think of this disease I’m walking through, but about this depression I’m grappling with. I’ve been so puzzled by it. This reading really ministered to my soul.
I was up really early that morning and prayed for our house; the outreaches, our businesses, our families. It wasn’t about me, it was about the people around me. It wasn’t the first time, but I don’t do it as much as I wish I did.
Oswald Chambers went onto to say that “Until Jesus Christ is truly our Lord, we each have goals of our own which we serve. Our faith is real, but it’s not yet permanent.” Wow…I wondered about my recent struggles with not being able to lead worship here in my home church. I’m part of a team, but my voice is limited and I can’t lead a congregation right now. Maybe I can’t do it, or maybe I’m too scared to try at this point. Either way, the thought about serving my own goals, rather than the heart of God pierces my soul. Is it possible to have too much of our identity hidden in the things we do, rather than who we are in Christ? You better believe it…
So maybe this season, is not just about listening for Him, but about allowing Him full reign in my heart and my life, however that may look.
Once more, I stand corrected and wait to hear from the One who does all things well.
peace and strength to you this day,